Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
