You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
