mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
