This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
