What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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