I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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