did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
