kristin has been a bad kristin
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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