Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
