..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I AM VODKA MAN
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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