please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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