Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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