i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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