Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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