What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
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ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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