You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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