I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize