Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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