I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
