yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
