I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
