I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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