she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The Olympian is in my bed
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
