He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We have started to decorate penises.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
