College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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