Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
