I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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