Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
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Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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