are you still at the devil's house?
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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