god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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