you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
