So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I wish you could order shots online.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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