i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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