so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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