addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
