i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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