you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
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seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
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2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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