I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
