her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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