He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
