I faked an abortion last night.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
