Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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