my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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