Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
