he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
