they need to just BURY HIM!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
