We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
