dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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