Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
