it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
