I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
