dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
