he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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