I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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