apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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