During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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