meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
