remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
