im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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