thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Who died my cat blue again?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
